Tomorrow is the culmination of two months of non-stop work.
Tomorrow, 70 people will show up to a conference room in Austin. Some of them will be treatment professionals - Social Workers, Psychologist, Nurses. Some of them will be friends and family. Some of them will be from the media.
Most of them will be like me. People with OCD.
Tomorrow, we'll all get together for a mini-conference - the first ever quarterly meeting of OCD TEXAS, the IOCDF affiliate for our state.
At the beginning of August, this organization didn't exist. And since we went to the meeting in Dallas, we've been working tirelessly to make it happen.
And I'm terrified.
I can't help but worry.
What if no one actually shows up (despite the 70 RSVPs)
What if too many people show up?
What if we don't have enough chairs?
I only put out 61.
What if... what if...
And then I realize that I'm obsessing a bit. Which is ironic. But typical.
I still need to iron. I still need to finish writing my portion of the speech.
More than anything, I need to take a shower and go to bed. And try to think of the positive things like:
After tomorrow, I'll have time to blog again. (I have about 6 blogs half finished. I plan to take Sunday to do them.)
I have AWESOME friends who are coming to support me. Kelly, Mistress of Chaos, will be there. Erica and Eric - two great friends from school. Erica played a suspicious cook in the play last semester in which I was a murderer. Eric directed said play. Rebecca, the lovely gal helping me organize the campus group, will be there too.
And countless others, from the local group and from all over the state.
Positive things like: By tomorrow night, I'll suddenly have more free time and I'll be able to spend it working on Russian homework.
I might even get caught up.
Positive things like: The next meeting is in Dallas and I'm not organizing it. I'll get to attend like everyone else.
Positive things like...
I can't believe this is happening. It all went so fast. But it really is happening. And even though I'm terrified, I can't wait to be a part of it. THIS is what Social Work is about for me.